Nowadays on all America's streets and highways
From large urban parkways to small country byways
It is hardly safe to drive around in an old-fashioned car
Because all one sees is gigantic SUVs near and far.
Riding down low amidst this herd of lumbering rhinoceri
The poor driver of a car can barely see the sky !
Beside or behind a SUV in traffic his driving is blind.
And to worsen matters, SUV drivers are often not kind.
With their intimidating size, as down the road SUVs run,
They seem to convert dear sweet Grandma into Attila the Hun!
Emboldened by their belief that in an accident their Sports Utility Vehicle
Will keep them safe while putting a car driver in quite a pickle,
SUV drivers tend to become less courteous, more aggressive.
About his right to drive a SUV, its owner is often adamantly possessive
Even though a SUV has numerous faults, truth be told,
Compared to a car in an accident the SUV is three times more likely to roll,
The mileage it gets from a gallon of gas won't take you far,
Its pollution and tailpipe emissions are way below par,
Plus it's top-heavy and unstable to maneuver in high-speed traffic.
Besides the real reason behind the SUV takeover should make you sick.
Automakers circumvented laws that promote conserving energy and improving our air.
SUVs are classified as farm trucks, even though this is hardly fair,
Thus allowing them to be less gas-efficient, to pollute more.
So automakers into a slick advertising campaign much money did pour
To manipulate the public to heartily embrace this ill-conceived off-road truck
(What? Did you think their dominance arose through sheer luck?)
Saving automakers millions of $$$, only to their shame and safety's sorrow,
But their scheme has worked so well that this time tomorrow,
Even though I once swore it would never happen to me,
I'm taking delivery of my new supersized, gas-guzzling, polluting, 4x4 SUV.

Harry Edward Gilleland      08.30.01