Not Gonorrhea, Diarrhea!

My neighbor told me this when at
the mailbox we happened to meet.
There on the curb my neighbor sat,
looking glum and staring at his feet.

“I’ve just had a morning straight from Hell.
I awoke and ran to the bathroom with diarrhea.
My wife was worried. ‘What’s wrong, pray tell?’
I distinctly said a dose of diarrhea. She heard gonorrhea!

She became quite angry, then was hurt and cried.
When asked how she thought I could have a sexual disease
since there is no man any more faithful than I, she said I lied,
that lately in my sleep I moan “Oh, Jan” as plainly as you please.

But I have never even known a Jan…well now, other than
that Jan whom I knew a couple of times some thirty years
ago in high school. Now I must devote days to seeing if I can
convince the wife that nothing is taking place, to assuage her fears.

Her change of life, her raging hormones have turned her into a nut!
To top it off, my diarrhea has my fanny as red as a baboon’s butt.”

Harry Edward Gilleland      08.11.02