My friend Beth, her husband Paul were traveling out west,
when, at a gas station, Paul told her she’d better go pee.
Beth said she didn’t need to, about this SHE knew best.
“Well, there won’t be another rest room for 100 miles, you see.”
Only 20 miles up the road, Beth announced “NOW I have to go!”
Nothing but open road, not even another car, was anywhere in sight.
Paul couldn’t help himself! “It’ll be a long while. I TOLD you so!”
Beth hates it when Paul gets so smug, when thinking himself right.
“We could stop along the side of the road so you can use the woods
if you need to.” “No woods for me. I might meet up with a snake.”
“Then just squat beside the car on the shoulder. You even could
open the front and back doors and kind of an enclosure you’d make.”
So, Paul stopped along side the road, and Beth proceeded to squat.
All went fine...until that 18-wheeler roared past, blowing his horn.
Startled, Beth lost her balance, fell over backwards, and soon got
to rolling down the incline...(this part is TRUE, Paul has sworn)...
With panties and shorts hugging her ankles, Beth rolled like a ball
until she finally came to rest...directly on a fire-ants’ mound.
Beth commenced to hopping, brushing ants away, swearing - all
with her derriere exposed. Ants brushed away, Beth bent down
to pull up her undies and shorts, whereupon she heard the sound
of clapping. Still bent over, she turned her head to look behind,
and saw three men in the woods laughing at the scene they’d found.
Beth pulled up her clothes, with her dignity not a bit undermined,
she marched up the small hill, got into the car, and said with a smile,
“Right. I’m about done. I believe I’m ready to continue heading west.”
Paul knew better than to laugh, but it got harder mile after mile,
until both exploded into laughter, giving this tale its happy end, I guess.