Joe, home from college, drove over to see
his great-grandfather, now aged ninety-three.
He asked Joe to take him to the grocery store,
for he was “out of bread, milk, and a few things more”.
On their way great-granddad asked “What’s new?”
“My cat had kittens. I could give one to you.”
“A cat! Only a fool would own a cat. Take is all
they do. You feed ‘em…they won’t come when you call.
If I spend my money on it, I expect it to obey!!
That has been my philosophy I’ve had for all my life.”
Joe: “You reckon that’s why you just divorced your fifth wife?”
“Nice try, Joe, but not up to the witty standards of my day.”
“Gramps, you claim to be a wit. All your wives say that’s half right!”
Arriving at the store Joe asked “What’s ‘the more’ you need to buy?”
“Cat food” came the reply. “Gramps, you own a cat! Aren’t I right?”
“No. I don’t own him. He just stays around. He won’t leave…I try.”
“You let him inside the house?” “Only if it’s cold…or rainy…or hot.”
“You old faker! Giving me lip, and you having a cat all the while.”
“I’m 93…can’t smoke, drink, or have sex…talking tough’s all I got.”
“Gramps, you’re a softie. You just like seeing whom you can rile.”